Discover The Different Styles of Conflict Coaching

What's the purpose of conflict coaching? To resolve the conflict! But to do that, you need to be thrown-off balance. The status quo isn't working for you; business as usual simply perpetuates the cycle of conflict you're experiencing. You need to break out of that, and this is what a conflict coach can help you do. It is, and has to be, uncomfortable. But just how uncomfortable? Some coaches seem to model their practices on a Hollywood version of a drill sergeant, while others offer a more moderate approach. Which is the more effective style?

• The client simply does not respond to aggression. Instead of being prodded into opening up, he/she is like a turtle retreating into the shell. This is not to say that the coachee is meek; just that he doesn't work this way.
• The client is not allowed to tell the best version of his story. In the quest to be aggressive, the coach may not let this person share his perspective, and this can lead to the client feeling invalidated or unacknowledged.
• Sometimes, coaches can gloss over things or even twist words to throw their client off balance. They may push them into accepting a different perspective that does not align with their needs/values/goals, etc.
• Sessions can devolve into venting and complaining. While telling your story is very constructive, wallowing is not. The purpose is to take you beyond that, and the overly aggressive method may not do this.

The best coaches are neither tough nor tempered - or they're both. They are able to tailor their approach to the specific needs of the client. A good coach is adept at ascertaining whether someone would benefit from a gentle touch or if they need that semi-antagonistic relationship to spur positive change and action.